PDA

View Full Version : Synchronicity


Tsukiko
08-05-2008, 10:16 PM
...I wanted to post my story. But...Im really not sure if I should cause Im not sure if anyone will read it. I dont wanna waste my time typing it out and posting it useless.

I dont normally share my stories, cause after I post it, I feel so stupid. Like the plot is dumb...a character is or something they said...so Im really nervous to. But Im gonna try.

Basically...my story...is about...a boy and a girl who both share a mysterious power unknown to themselves. Its not a fighting-action story--just to note.

It...probably doesnt sound original...but I think it is.

So please post if anyone seems interested! If not, still 0 replies, I can just ask a mod to delete the whole thread. Cause like I said above, I dont wanna waste my time when no one might not even read it.

If someone does say something, Ill post the first chapter tonight. ^-^

Synchronicity

One ~ Warmth

It's dark and cold. The street lamps flicker on and off. The wind is crying soflty, the night is whispering quietly. It's so lonely. It's inevitable. Or perhaps...it's not.

I can vaguely remember what happened that night. It's all so distant and far away...but I do remember one thing; the hand you held out to me, and the warm smile that lifted the coldness.

"Why are you...alone?" the first words that were ever directed at me. Me. But my lips would not move. My mouth seemed clamped shut. "Well starting tonight..." a gentle hand touched mine. "...I'm going to stay by your side." That warm smile..."I'm Kumo." Kumo. "And who are you?" Who am I? I couldn't even remember my own...name. "Hm...you can be Riku. Riku-chan." Riku. It was the first time I was ever acknowledged, and suddenly, I felt free...as I was gradually able to whisper, "Kumo." And that was the first word I ever remember speaking. And he kept his word...Kumo-kun was always by my side.

It was not inevitable...not anymore.

~
"Hey, come on, Riku-chan! Or we are going to be late for school!"
"Okay...sorry. I'm coming, Kumo-kun." It's already been ten years since I first met Kumo-kun. On that cold night, I became "Riku." And since then, we have never been apart. We have both learned something about one another; we both share a mysterious power. Kumo-kun understands it better than I do, but I do remember that that is why my family abandoned me. Scared of my power, they tossed me aside; they did not need me anymore. I was only four...and everyday, millions of people would pass me by on the streets, but not one would even look at me. But that was until Kumo-kun saved me from my solitude. From everything...from the world. He too, was the same. Left alone, rejected, becaus of a power unknown even to himself. And yet...when I met him, he was smiling. "Our power is very strange, Riku-chan. People are afraid of us because of it. I'm going to learn more about it, and break it someday. I will free you, Riku-chan." That is what Kumo-kun promised to me, and I believe in him. Kumo-kun is strong, and I want to help him as much as I can. But today it is bright and warm, there is no anguish when Kumo-kum is walking beside me.

"Hey listen, Riku-chan. I'm sorry but I won't be home until very late."
"Did you...get another job?"
"Yeah, I did. I'm sorr-"
"What are you apologizing for?! You are working very hard to keep us together. I'm very grateful, Kumo-kun." That's right. Kumo-kun and I live in a very small house in Tokyo. Kumo-kun has alot of jobs, he is always very busy, but I don't resent him for it. Until about two years ago, we lived on the streets and scarcely survived. But Kumo-kun always found a way, and somehow, we are both still alive today. Maybe it's our strange power that keeps us alive...or perhaps, it's our strong will to want to keep living together.

"Class is starting, so I'll see you later, Riku-chan."
"Okay, bye, Kumo-kun! Don't...work yourself too hard, okay?"
"It's a promise. I won't. Don't worry about me." Kumo said smiling.
"All right..." I said smiling weakly. Don't worry, I'm not doubting you. I just don't want you to do so many things for my sake. I'll always believe in you, Kumo-kun...but you can be a bit more selfish if you want. But I guess...that's what's good about you, right? Your thoughtfulness...and kindess...that has given me the strength to move forward.

Two ~ Always

Some of the students at our school do know of our power. It's not like it's a secret hidden from the world. Kumo-kun is even surprised that we are allowed to attend class. But...with our secret known, we are outcasts. School is tough, but Kumo-kun says we must attend. And we must try to not let our powers out of control. That is a bigger problem for myself rather than for Kumo-kun. He can control his powers better than I can. But I'm trying my best, I don't want to be a burden to Kumo-kun.

"Jeez! It's snowing again today!" a scruffy looking blonde haired boy sighed while gazing out of the window.
"We can't play soccer in the snow..." another boy next to him said.
"Hey...I have an idea." the blonde-haired boy said as he jumped off of the desk he was sitting on. "We can ask Kumo if he'll stop it." The boy struts over to a corner of the class where Kumo is sitting all alone. "Hey, Kumo." the boy said in a not-so-friendly manner. "Do me a favor, please."
"...What?" Kumo asked half-ignoring the boy.
"Stop the snow. Then Tosu and I can play soccer this afternoon."
"Why would I stop it? I can't even."
"Yeah! I bet you could with your freakish power!"
"Even if I could...I would not. The snow's beautiful; I wouldn't want to disrupt it."
"'The snow's beautiful...' Ha! You sound so stupid!" the boy smirked.
"Well at least I have an appreciation for things." Kumo replied modestly.
"What?!" the boy said as he grabbed Kumo by the collar of his shirt.
"H-Hey Muzeki!" Tosu, the other boy, says worriedly. "If sensei comes back, we'll be in trouble! And besides..." he quickly glances at Kumo. "He...Kumo, could like, kill you!"
"You think that I'm afraid of a freak like this?!" Muzeki yells. "Kumo...an outcast like you has no right to be at our school!" he suddenly strikes Kumo across the cheek.
"M-Muzeki..." Tosu said, still worried.
"Kumo-kun!" a voice from the other side of the room calls out. In the doorway stands Riku, as she cautiosly steps into the classroom.
"Riku-chan..." Kumo said weakly. "Don't interfere."
"B-But...!" Riku exclaims worriedly.
"And on top of it all, Kumo needs help from a girl!" Muzeki said. Suddenly though, Muzeki falls to the ground, screaming as if in pain. "H-Hey! Muzeki!" Tosu said. "What's wrong?!"
"My...my head." Muzeki sad as he held in his head. Kumo quickly looks at Riku as he says, "Riku-chan! Stop!" Riku clenches her fists as she looks down.
"Muzeki..." Tosu said as he bent down near him.
"I'm fine now!" Muzeki growled. "It's fine!" he looked up at Kumo. "That was your fault! You tried to kill me!"
"No, I-" Kumo began.
"Just-!" Interuppted Muzeki. But then, his eyes, his face, become filled with fear. He slowly staggers upwards.
"Muzeki?" Tosu said confused.
"Leave." Kumo says quietly as he closes his eyes. As if under a hypnosis, both of the boys leave hurriedly, not speaking another word. The classroom is left empty again except for Kumo and Riku. "Riku-chan..." Kumo said as he leaned back against the wall. "Why did you...?"
"I-I'm sorry!" Riku exclaimed. "I just couldn't let them bully you like that..." She quietly walks over to Kumo.
"It's fine..." Kumo sighed.
"Y-You're bleeding! On your cheek!" Riku said.
"Oh? It's fine." Kumo said as he laid his hand on his cheek. But then suddenly, Kumo feels a warm hand on top of his own. "Riku-chan..."
"Please, let me use my power one more time..." she said softly. And then, all of the pain and bleeding stopped, as Riku kept her hand on Kumo's.
"Riku-chan...did you...?"
"Yes, I healed it."
"That's incredible! I didnt know our power could do that."
"I learned it awhile ago...by myself. Are you okay now, Kumo-kun? Does it hurt?"
"No, I'm all right. Thank you, Riku-chan." he said smiling at her faintly.
"Kumo-kun!" Riku exclaimed as she suddenly hugged him. "I'm glad!"
"It was just a minor injury." Kumo laughed slightly.
"I know..." Riku said as she pulled away from him. "But I'm just glad that I was able to help you."
"You're always helping me, Riku-chan."
"Huh?"
"No, it's nothing. Look!" Kumo pointed out to the window.
"It's snowing!" Riku said happily as she walked over to the window. "It's so nice."
"Yeah." Kumo said as he walked over next to her. "It's purifying the world of all the bad people."
"Purifying...then that means..." Riku said slowly as she grabbed Kumo's arm. "...that we'll always be together, right?"
"Yes, Riku-chan...always." Kumo said as he smiled back at her.

Three ~ Protect

The snow didn't last very long...I was sad to see it go. After the whole incident in the school, Kumo-kun told me that I must never use my power to harm other people. We musn't be too consumed with this infinite power we posess. "But when you healed me, Riku-chan...that was okay. Well...to some extent." Kumo-kun told me. "Let's not let other people see our power too often." I know that he is right...but somehow I did not feel concious of using my power to hurt that boy myself. Can our powers...act on their own? I want to learn more...I want to break the power's curse also, like Kumo-kun. I want to be of help. I somewhat feel like I owe a great debt to him. Kumo-kun saved me...all those years ago.

"Ah! Kumo-kun! You're home!" Riku exclaimed as she heard the door clank shut.
"Yeah..." Kumo said tiredly.
"Are you okay? Kumo-kun?"
"Oh, yeah. Don't worry about me, Riku-chan."
"Um...I was um...thinking. Maybe I...maybe I could get a job somehow, too. To...help and all."
"No, Riku-chan."
"Why?" Riku asked timidly. Kumo was silent for a few minutes as if a wall was forming between them. "Because..." Kumo began. "I can't let you be alone with other people." He walked over to the window. "There are people in this world who don't want to understand anything about anyone else. They're selfish and arrogant..." he gripped the window sill. "They don't care, and will hurt other people without a second thought." He turned around and looked at Riku steadily. "I don't want you to get hurt; that's all."
"But I-!" exclaimed Riku. But then she paused and noticed that the expression in Kumo's face looked lonely...and sad. "I understand." Kumo turned around and began walking away. "Kumo-kun!" Riku called out. He stopped. "Thank you." Riku said as she embraced him softly from behind. Kumo turned around and laid his hand on Riku's head. "Good night, Riku-chan." he said as he kieed her forehead gently, and then continued walking. "Kumo-kun..." Riku said as her face seemed to feel hot. "Good night."

That night I dreamt of a pure white snow on the ground, and a gray-colored sky. Someone seems to be calling out my name, but I do not recognize the voice. I step forward, but then, the snow is suddenly a deep, crimson red color before me now. Is it blood? The voice seems to stop calling my name also. The while world seems utterly silent. I can feel my head spinning, as I fall to the ground. The red blood stains my face, but this blood feels warm, not cold like on the snow. Still barely concious, I lay my hand on my head, and when I look...my hand is purely stained crimson. It keeps on flowing down my face...mixing in with the tears that fall from my eyes. And suddenly, I lose concious. The whole world seems to stop breathing...everything is now total silence and darkness.

"Riku-chan! Riku-chan!" Riku slowly opened her eyes as she sees Kumo right by her side. "Are you okay, Riku-chan?" he asked anxiously.
"I'm..." Riku said slowly.
"You passed out in the living room after we were done talking last night. You have a fever." he gently placed his hand on her forehead. "I moved you into your room...I'll go get some ice." He stood up and left the room. Riku turned to her side as she suddenly remembered that strange dream she had. She looked at her hands and sighed. "It was...scary." she thought quietly to herself. "But who was that person calling my name? Was it...Kumo-kun?" she closed her eyes and recounted all of the events.

It was...scary.

Four ~ Doubt

"It looks like you're going to have to stay home from school today, Riku-chan." Kumo said the next morning as the sun broke through the window into Riku's room. "You...probably passed out from using your powers too much the other day. Just rest, okay?" He gently touched Riku's pale face.
"Okay..." Riku quietly said.
"Ill see you later tonight." Kumo said as he slung his bag over him. "I'm sorry that you're going to be alone for awhile."
"N-No! It's fine! Kumo-kun." Riku exclaimed. "Good luck with work." she said smiling.
"Thanks, Riku-chan." Kumi smiled. "See you." The door shut creakily behind him as he left. Riku laid back against her pillow and sighed. "I'm so bored..." she looked out the window as rain began to gently fall. "It's really lonely." she thought to herself gloomily. "And Kumo-kun won't be home until really late..." She put her hands on her head. "I'm so stupid. I'm just another thing Kumo-kun needs to worry about." She crept out of her bed. "If I have the time to feel depressed, then I have the time to learn how to control my powers better." Riku closed her eyes silently. "All right, Kumo-kun. You don't need to worry about me anymore!"

The day passed very slowly, but even when it was late at night, Kumo still never returned home. "I'll just go to bed." Riku told herself. "I'm sure that he'll be back by morning. I hope." she added doubtfully.

"Hey Riku-chan." a voice quietly said. "Riku-chan." Riku opened her eyes as she saw nothing but darkness. "K-Kumo...kun?" she said tiredly.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry I wasn't home at all last night. I was..anyway, I'll tell you tomorrow morning. It's something...concerning our power." he quietly whispered.
"What...time is it?"
"About 3 A.M."
"Tell me now, Kumo-kun."
"Hm?"
"About our power."
"No, not now. Morning I will. You need to rest, Riku-chan." He patted her head lightly.
"Okay..." Riku said slowly. "Hey Kumo-kun. I think...I've learned how to control my powers better now. So please, don't worry about me too much anymore." Please.
"Well even if you do have complete control over your powers, I'll always be worrying about you." Riku couldn't tell in the dark whether or not Kumi was smiling or frowning, while he said this.
"I'm not a kid you know! Kumo-kun."
"I know, Riku-chan. I don't see you as one."
"Ah...um...okay."
"Now good night!" Kumo said loudly, yet not meanly.
"Not a kid, huh? Then quit telling me when to go to bed!" Riku said teasingly.

The sun wasn't shining bright in the morning at all. Instead, the sky was gray and dark as rain clouds formed above. "I can go to school today, Kumo-kun." Riku said.
"Are you sure?" Kumo asked. "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah, I do." Riku smiled.
"All right..."
"So are you going to tell me?"
"What?"
"About our power! Last night-er, early morning, you told me you learned something about it."
"Oh...that's right." Sorry, it slipped my mind."
"Okay. Tell me! Tell me!"
"Jeez you really are a kid. Anyway, okay. But...it's sort of really complicated. You see, last night, as I was coming home from work, I met a very strange man."
"Who was he?"
"Well, somehow he knew that I had our strange power, and he told me that he could tell me all about it. At first, I didn't believe him of course, but he too, is posessed by the Kuromisa."
"Kuro...misa?"
"Yeah, that is the name of our power. He even gave me proof that he had it, he slit his finger, then healed it instantly, so I believed him. But...he said that it's very complicated, the origin of Kuromisa. That is all he said. He is going to explain more to me today."
"I wanna come!" Riku exclaimed. "I wanna learn, too..."
"Riku-chan..." Kumo began. "You can't."
"Why?! It's...it's my power, too, Kumo-kun!"
"I know..."
"Why..why do you always treat me like a kid?!"
"I told you, I don't-"
"Yes, you do!" yelled Riku. "You never let me do anything! You always..."
"Riku-chan." Kumo said calmly. "I..." he put his hand on her shouler. "I don't want you to get hurt. I'm not sure if I can trust this man yet. That's why..." He let go of her. "Come on...let's get ready for school." he said as he left the room.
"Kumo-kun..." Riku said to herself quietly with a troubled expression splayed across her face. "Sorry."

Five ~ Haunting

"Riku-chan." Kumo said as they were walking to school. "I've decided that you can come along today with me."
"N-No! It's okay, really, Kumo-kun." Riku exclaimed.
"No, I want you to come so that I don't have to explain it all to you. You're right anyways...it's your power, too."
"Um...o-okay. Thank you, Kumo-kun." Riku said smiling as she touched his arm.
"You're welcome." Kumo said, smiling slightly. "It...it really seemed like a coincidence that we found each other. I mean, sharing the same exact power and all. I traveled for many months...alone, after my family abanonded me."
"You...lived originally in Kyoto, right?"
"Yeah...I'm pretty sure it was Kyoto. And then I found Riku-chan in Tokyo."
"Well, I'm glad. I mean I'm glad that Kumo-kun found me. Cause it was really..."
"Lonely."
"Yeah..." Kumo stopped walking and looked up at the dull gray sky. "It's going to rain soon." he said. "Come on, let's get to school before it starts."
"Hey, look, Kumo-kun!" Riiku said happily. "It's snow!"
"You're right..." Kumo said as snow began to fall from the sky slowly. "Well it is only the end of March. I thought for sure it was going to rain."
"It'll probably be the last snow of the year." Riku said sadly.
"Hey, Riku-chan. Why do you...like the snow so much?" Riku looked up at the sky as snowflakes swirled around them. "Because...it was snowing the night you found me, Kumo-kun. It was really...cold. I wasn't even sure if I was going to durvive. But then when Kumo-kun came, it...seemed like the sun came out and it was really warm...and happy." she looked down at the fallen snow. "I was really happy."
"Riku-chan...you give me too much credit."
"No. You've no idea how happy I was that night. And I had already given up. But seeing you, Kumo-kun, still smiling at me, it really gave me some courage." she paused. "Oh man! This probably all sounds really corny." she said rubbing her head.
"No, it's not." Kumo said. "Riku-chan made me really happy that night, too." He smiled warmly.
"Ahh...now you're giving me too much credit." Riku said blushing slightly.
"Come on. Let's get to school for sure now..." He grabbed Riku's hand.
"Oh, okay! I...hope we're not late." She looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. "I'm glad." she said to herself. "I was able to finally tell you...how much you really saved me that night."

At the end of school, after Riku stepped outside, it was still snowing very lightly. "Good." she thought happily to herself as she let the snow fall onto her hands.
"Riku-chan" a voice said behind her back.
"Oh, Kumo-kun!" Riku exclaimed as she turned around. "I was just wondering..."
"I don't have work today."
"You don't?"
"No, sorry. I forgot to mention it earlier. So we are going to see that man right now." He began walking.
"Okay..." Riku said as she began walking also. After about an hour, Riku asked timidly, "Um...is the man old? I mean, is he like some kind of hermit?"
"No, he't not actually." answered Kumo. "He looks...like he's in his twenties, or something."
"Oh, I see. How far away does he live?"
"Only about five miles out of the city. He doesn't really live in the main city. He gave me directions on where he lives when we met. We should be there soon." In about half an hour, they came to a worn down looking house built out of wood that seemed to be decaying. There were no other houses nearby it. There seemed to be a very mysterious and haunting aura about it also. "This is it." Kumo said quietly. The two of them walked up to the door as Kumo knocked softly. No one answered for a few minutes until the door slowly opened with a creak. "You two must be...Kumo-san and Riku-shan, correct?" a voice said.
"Y-yes. It's me, Kumo, from last night."
"Come in." The voice said again. Kumo and Riku stepped into the house as the door closed behind them. It was pitch black in the room, except for one candle that was lit in the center. Riku shakily grabbed Kumo's arm as they both stepped nearer into the dark room. "Kuro...misa." the voice echoed in the silence. "I shall explain it all to you."

Six ~ Revealment

"So you two children are possessed by the Kuromisa, yes?" the strange voice said again.
"Yes, we are." Kumo said boldly.
"I see..." And quite suddenly, the lights flickered on and the room became very bright. "Oh yes, you're the boy from last night. You can call me Zannen." Standing before them was a young man, whose hair was raven-black, just like Kumo's and Riku's. He had quite a friendly face, but his eyes seemed to resemble that of a hidden loneliness. He had an eccentric grin on his face, as if everything and everyone in the world was a huge joke.
"Zannen-san?" Kumo said. "So, you're 'too bad.'"
"Yes, that's me." Zannen said, still grinning stupidly. "And...may I call you Kumo-kun, and the little miss Riku-chan?"
"Yes-wait. How...do you know our names? I...I didn't tell you mine the night we met, and this is your first time meeting Riku-chan."
"Oh. That. It's the Kuromisa."
"I...see."
"Perhaps you don't."
Kumo stared at Zannen in annoyance, until he exclaimed laughing, "I'm kidding!"
"This man..." Kumo thought to himself. "Is he insane, or just stupid?" Zannen walked over to the both of them and stared at them for a long time. "My..." he began saying. "You two are...quite adorable children." He grinned again.
"Um..." Kumo said blankly.
"Especially Riku-chan! You're probably the cutest girl I've ever seen who's been possessed by the Kuromisa!" He patted Riku's head and smiled at her.
"T-Thank you." Riku said timidly as she gripped Kumo's arm tighter.
"What do you mean, Zannen-san?" Kumo asked. Have you-"
"Some people..." interuppted Zannen. "That are possessed by the Kuromisa can be really beautiful, like us, or...really ugly." He added bluntly.
"That's a nice way to put it..." Kumo thought to himself. "Zannen-san." He said outloud. "Where exactly does Kuromisa originate from?"
"Sit down." Zannen said as he pointed to the right side of the room where a very small table was. "I would offrt you two some tea, but...I don't have any."
"That's...fine."
"I have hot chocolate though!" he said brightly. "I don't like tea...or coffee. Okay, then! I'll make some cocoa!" he walked away.
"Kumo-kun..." Riku whispered as she tugged on his arm.
"I know he's a little...but we must bear with it." Kumo said quietly back. "He's the only one who can tell us about our power."

And finally, after several minutes, when all three of them were seated, Zannen seemed to become quite serious than he was being before, and began to tell Kumo and Riku about their strange power, that had been a total mysterious after all this time. "'Kuromisa...' means 'Black Mass.'" Zannen said. "Why it is named that I do not know. Kuromisa has been possessing people for hundreds of years. I'm still not sure how people become indulged with this power, but I do know, Kuromisa can do alot of amazing things, so to say. Causing pain, creating happiness-it can harm and heal. It's very weird, I think." he sighed. "And eveyrone who is possessed by it acquire dark hair, like all three of us do."
"I see." Kumo said. "No wonder. People would always ask Riku-chan and I if we were siblings. I thought that it was just a coicidence that we look alike."
"You can dye your hair, of course..." Zannen said. "But...anyways, Kuromisa is not from this world."
"This world?" exclaimed Riku. "What do you...mean, Zannen-san?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. Kuromisa, was, I mean, does not originate from this world, unviverse even. Earth...so to say. I know, it's confusing!" he lauged. "I'm not sure which world, but...there are many worlds out there, that I know."
"Really..." Kumo said doubtfully.
"You...probably don't believe me, but it's true. I happen to know because I've been studying Kuromisa for over a hundred years."
"But you're only like twenty! So how can you-"
"Immortality. Kuromisa grants immortality."
"T-That's!"
"True! And I happen to know that there are other worlds because I do not come from this one. I've traveled between the dimensions. That is another power Kuromisa can conjure. But of course, it takes awhile to learn."
"Zannen-san..." Kumo said slowly. "Why did you come to Japan, then?"
"It was just luck, actually. I was just traveling through different worlds and happen to come across this one. I liked it, so I decided to stay And then...after I've been living here for twenty years, I felt the prescence of two more Kuromisa users. You two. Kumo-kun...and Riku-chan."

Olivia_13
08-05-2008, 10:19 PM
I would love to read it. Please post it.^.^

moran1994
08-05-2008, 10:35 PM
i wanna read it :3

ayu.chan
08-05-2008, 10:56 PM
I wanna I wanna!!!
:nuts:
I know what you mean about posting... I'm that way with everything ><

Olivia_13
08-05-2008, 11:24 PM
See?? We always look at your work. Sooo....post it!!^.^

Tsukiko
08-06-2008, 01:36 AM
OMGH really?!!

Thank you!!
I got more than I thought. =3
Even if only one person wanted to read it, I woulda still posted it.

Okay. I cant post it until around 1am...so it should be up by tomorrow then. ^_^

ayu.chan
08-06-2008, 01:37 AM
oh yay :D
Can't wait to read ^^

Tsukiko
08-06-2008, 07:00 AM
Okay!
To keep it simple, whenever I post a new chapter, Ill just add it to my very first post with a spoiler box.
So far I've only written 9 chapters...but all of my chaps are about 3 pages long.

EDIT:
Ok...I put it on my first post.

Im sorry...but my story is weird cause I write with a narrator, and without sometimes. -sigh- so sorry if its ever confusing. I can just...explain situations and what has previously happened with a narrator better.

ayu.chan
08-06-2008, 12:36 PM
WH00T.
Its awesome so far. ^.^
Can't wait for Chapter Two :D

Kaden
08-06-2008, 03:14 PM
I'll keep tabs on this one.

Tsukiko
08-07-2008, 01:26 AM
YAAY!
I am very happy. :)

Ill post more tonight. x]

ayu.chan
08-07-2008, 02:38 AM
Oh yay :D
Can't wait ^^

Styles Clash
08-07-2008, 02:38 AM
Ooh...that's a cute 1st chapter^^ I'm looking forward to the 2nd chapter.

HyuugaHinata
08-07-2008, 04:04 AM
I really do love what you have so far. Wonderful work.

Tsukiko
08-07-2008, 09:31 PM
Aw thanksss everyone!!! :hug: :hug:

I was gonna post chapt. 2 last night but I fell asleep. :( :susp:

Ill get it up tonight for sure! :D

ayu.chan
08-07-2008, 09:39 PM
WH00T.
:D
Awesome, Crimson Chan ^^

Tsukiko
08-07-2008, 11:00 PM
>< I just hope I complete this one...which is my full intention. This is my 3rd time writing it...well...the first two ones, they were really different cause I made them siblings.

I've changed it alot..

ayu.chan
08-07-2008, 11:35 PM
Oh..
Well.
I hope you finish it too!! :D
I really want to read it ^^

Tsukiko
08-08-2008, 08:46 AM
I posted chapt. 2 :)

That was a pain to type! xD

This part has ALWAYS been in my other two drafts; its the first thing I ever wrote for this whole story...^^

though I think the ending is lame. -_- I dunno...

Styles Clash
08-08-2008, 08:53 AM
Aw...that was a cute chapter...and snow makes everything better! :D I can't wait for the next chapter again Crimson...

Tsukiko
08-08-2008, 09:18 AM
^Thanks very much Dylan. :hug:

Cute?? Lol. I guess it is..somewhat. Yeah. xD

ayu.chan
08-08-2008, 10:21 AM
awww.....
Poor Kumo. :(

YAY! I like this chapter. :)

HyuugaHinata
08-08-2008, 09:59 PM
Aw x3! Yes, it was cute. I like how you made Kumo. Great chapter!

Tsukiko
08-08-2008, 10:17 PM
Thank you. ^-^ I really like Kumo alot myself, too. :^^:

Crimson
08-08-2008, 10:57 PM
omg...I love this story! It's amazing! Your grammar is good and the story line is definitely original ^^.....So far....^^"....I like the names too....Interesting....^^....Great job Crimson! I'm definitely looking forward to more! ^^

Tsukiko
08-08-2008, 11:06 PM
omg...I love this story! It's amazing! Your grammar is good and the story line is definitely original ^^.....So far....^^"....I like the names too....Interesting....^^....Great job Crimson! I'm definitely looking forward to more! ^^

Thanks, Dark-chan. :hug:

I picked out the names carefully...well...only really Kumo's...cause it means "cloud" and I really liked it. ^^

But Riku's...was kinda random...and the title...I named it after a most awesomeness song cause the lyrics reminded me of K&R's relationship alot...^_^

Crimson
08-08-2008, 11:27 PM
Thanks, Dark-chan. :hug:

I picked out the names carefully...well...only really Kumo's...cause it means "cloud" and I really liked it. ^^

But Riku's...was kinda random...and the title...I named it after a most awesomeness song cause the lyrics reminded me of K&R's relationship alot...^_^

:blink: .....hug......*shivers*....xD...jk jk....

Cloud....Sounds peaceful....That kinda seems like Kumo....hm...as far as I can tell ^^"...

xD....Yay for randomness! xD....

Oh! The song! Who sings it?....I'd love to hear it ^^

Tsukiko
08-08-2008, 11:30 PM
Cloud....Sounds peaceful....That kinda seems like Kumo....hm...as far as I can tell ^^"...
Lol. Ironically their personalties were going to be really, really different. More dark...but as I wrote it, they turned out to be really kind, specially Kumo...and Im glad that happened. ^-^

Um.... the song...its by Yui Makino. :) Its so awesome like I said...and the lyrics are really beautiful. <3

Crimson
08-08-2008, 11:45 PM
More dark, eh?.....Heheh.....Sounds....Interesting.....>: )....xD

Awesome, thanks! I'll go look it up immediately!

Tsukiko
08-09-2008, 12:41 AM
Yeah...but then it just turned out to be more happy. =]

Crimson
08-09-2008, 01:13 AM
xD....I see....xD....

omg...I listened to the song (A few times and I have it added to my no playing list xD)....I luv it!....It's awesome!....I didn't know it was a Tsubasa song!

Tsukiko
08-09-2008, 08:04 AM
Yeah it is really awesome. ^^
Tsubasa has so many good songs!

...and I posted chapt. 3.

Ugh.....v.v

Styles Clash
08-09-2008, 08:15 AM
Ugh? :huh:

Anyway that may have been your best chapter yet...I really liked that 1, this is a really good story all around and it's loaded with cuteness...i'm looking forward to the next chapter as usual...

Tsukiko
08-09-2008, 08:19 AM
I dunno. xD I just...felt...like saying 'ugh'

and it's loaded with cuteness
really?
is it?
lol.
I've never really saw it that way before...while writing it...but either way I dont care. :p

Kaden
08-09-2008, 02:30 PM
Hooray's hooray's.

HyuugaHinata
08-09-2008, 03:59 PM
That was very interesting ^_^. I love your story! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Crimson
08-09-2008, 05:21 PM
Anyway that may have been your best chapter yet

I agree! It was very good, and I loved the description when she was dreaming. The ending was perfect too! "It was...Scary..." Perfect! Adds a more dramatic effect type of thing! ^^...

Awesome job Crimson! I can't wait for the next chapter! ^^

Tsukiko
08-09-2008, 06:12 PM
Thank you very much, once again, everyone! :hug:

Yeah I loved writing the dream...I guess it was fun to write all of those details and such. :p

ayu.chan
08-11-2008, 12:02 AM
ooh....
suspense...? :oh:
I want to read more. :p

Tsukiko
08-11-2008, 12:04 AM
Heehee. ^^

Yup...it gets...alot of action later.
So the beginning may not seem like much...but I just gotta get through all of the iffy details first so it all makes sense later on.

Um..Im gonna post 4 & 5 tonight...if I dont fall asleep again. -_-

Jeez it'd be easier if I could just post it during the day,...>.>

ayu.chan
08-11-2008, 12:07 AM
oh yay I can't wait :^^:

GangstaKage
08-11-2008, 03:59 PM
Ive read the three chapters currently up.And the story is shaping and forming very nicely and smotthly.I think the way your writing it though is giving me the feeling that you are going to kill off Kumo.Actually that would be a very interesting plot twist.I dunno just when he came home sad and tired and he was like I dont want you to get hurt.It just makes it seem to me like he is going to die earlyoff.Wich acttually I think will do very well for the plot.Idk....thats just the preditction I made from how you wrote the 3rd chapter.

Tsukiko
08-11-2008, 08:32 PM
Lol. ^^
I dont wanna spoil anything, so I wont say whether or not Kumo dies. xD

Sorry I didnt post anymore last night. D: I was really going to...but ..:susp:

Crimson
08-11-2008, 08:40 PM
Wait...DIES?!....What?! HUH?!...HMMM?!......

Do you have any to post? ^^...xD

ayu.chan
08-11-2008, 08:51 PM
Lol. ^^
I dont wanna spoil anything, so I wont say whether or not Kumo dies. xD

Sorry I didnt post anymore last night. D: I was really going to...but ..:susp:

awwww...
thats going to be so sad if you do... ><

lol :p
Its ok its ok. ^^
Ayu is patient.
kinda.
><

Tsukiko
08-11-2008, 11:52 PM
Do you have any to post? ^^...xD

Yup..I do. :D So far...I've written 18 chapters.

ayu.chan
08-12-2008, 12:04 AM
Woah Crimson Chan... thats a lot! :D
Is it anywhere near finished?

Tsukiko
08-12-2008, 12:05 AM
Nope...not quite. :p

I have alot more to write...I was thinking about it the whole day while I was working--how to end it and stuff.

ayu.chan
08-12-2008, 12:08 AM
ooh... i see :^^:
Well, thats good. I don't want you to end it too soon :D

Tsukiko
08-12-2008, 01:44 AM
Yup...I have alot to write still...I just hope Ill be able to post it all. ><

Crimson
08-12-2008, 02:25 PM
We all hope you're able to post it all....xD

I have to say though Crimson.....This story...is like....one of my favorite things to read right now ^^

Tsukiko
08-12-2008, 11:16 PM
OMGH IM SO SORRY!

:(

I didnt post anymore...again...:sad:

-Sigh-
Stupid work!! ><><><

Well...Ill try again tonight...it'll be better next week, cause I'll be done with work. But then again school starts next week also...:susp:

This story...is like....one of my favorite things to read right now ^^
Thank you very much.~ :hug:

I was always worried this story seemed boring...but its WAAY better than my very first draft.

Looking back...the first two drafts were horrible. :p and I wasnt sure how to keep writing it..

ayu.chan
08-12-2008, 11:44 PM
awww.
Its ok Crimson Chan :hug:

awww :(
School sucks. Are you still going to be homeschooled this year?

Tsukiko
08-13-2008, 06:32 AM
Yups, I am. =3

Okay, I posted four...[finally!]

I woulda posted five, too...but...I didnt feel like it. x_x

Styles Clash
08-13-2008, 06:39 AM
Cuteness! :emb: Anyway I really like how the story is turning out so far with a new character about to be introduced it seems, this is my favorite thing to read as well right now, I'm looking forward to the next chapter...again. :D

HyuugaHinata
08-13-2008, 03:38 PM
Great chapter! You do an awesome job at how the characters interact with one another. This is my favorite story here at TN, too x3.

Crimson
08-13-2008, 05:28 PM
But then again school starts next week also...:susp:

Next week?! My school starts in uh....2 or 3 weeks.....^^".....Oh ya! I forget you were home schooled.....:P


Thank you very much.~ :hug:

You're very welcome :hug: ^^

omg....this chapter...seemed so sad.....but....I think that may have been because while reading it...I was listening to the Naruto song....Sadness and Sorrow....xD.....anyway.....Nice chapter Crimson! ^^

ayu.chan
08-13-2008, 08:37 PM
Oooh.. Conflict! v.v
hehe I really liked this chapter :D

Tsukiko
08-14-2008, 06:47 AM
Wow thanks very much, everyone!~:D


well I posted 5.

This is...probably my favorite chapter, really. =3

...and augh. somehow I get the feeling that I add too much dialouge in general throughout the whole story. D:

Styles Clash
08-14-2008, 06:54 AM
Ooh very nice chapter, this story is coming along nicely :^^: Mysterious guy...o.O :p Anyway this story reeks of awesomeness and oozes cuteness...I'm looking forward to whatever you're gonna put in next! :p :hug:

Crimson
08-14-2008, 04:52 PM
Wow thanks very much, everyone!~:D


well I posted 5.

This is...probably my favorite chapter, really. =3

...and augh. somehow I get the feeling that I add too much dialouge in general throughout the whole story. D:

This wasn't my favorite....But it was sweet ^^

I didn't there was too much....I like to read (And write...xD) dialouge.....^^

Tsukiko
08-14-2008, 11:19 PM
Thanks...:^^:

I didn't there was too much....I like to read (And write...xD) dialouge.....^^
I hope there isnt. well..I think maybe there's too much dialouge and not enough details, y'know?

ayu.chan
08-15-2008, 12:22 AM
oooh yay!
I love this chapter. Its suspenseful with the creepy/mysterious guy :p

Crimson
08-15-2008, 02:16 AM
well..I think maybe there's too much dialouge and not enough details, y'know?


I know whatcha' mean....I think that about a lot of m pieces as well...But...making the characters talk is the funnest part!><.....It shows their personalities.....But ya...I get where you're coming from ^^

HyuugaHinata
08-15-2008, 07:23 PM
Great chapter. Can't wait to find out what their power is all about. =D

Tsukiko
08-16-2008, 07:20 AM
6 is up...

Well...I wonder if the new character was alot different than what everyone had imagined...:p

Styles Clash
08-16-2008, 07:54 AM
1 of the better chapters it seems...I don't know if a child molester is a good new character to add in...:S But! Learning more about the Kuromisa's powers is important...I guess we'll see more about it next chapter.

Tsukiko
08-16-2008, 08:02 AM
He's not...v.v
I've never gotten that impression...well..maybe cause I wrote it..

my intention was to make him humourous...cause up till now it's all been pretty serious.

HyuugaHinata
08-16-2008, 08:54 PM
I didn't get that impression either.. Awesome chapter! It's getting even more interesting! ^^

Tsukiko
08-16-2008, 09:38 PM
Thank you. -sigh of relief- I was beginning to think that it was all falling apart.

Crimson
08-17-2008, 06:51 PM
Falling apart?....Nonsense ^^....It's coming to together if ya ask me ^^.....Explaining the kuromisa further helped explain things a bit better ^^....Awesome, and informative, chapter Crimson ^^

Tsukiko
08-17-2008, 10:13 PM
^Reallyyy?? thanks. :hug:

Im gonna start drawing it soon maybe...like a manga. though Im terribly bad at drawing. v.v

I was writing my other story like a manga today and it was totally fun!!! :lol:

GangstaKage
08-17-2008, 10:24 PM
Interesting.Its forming vry nicely.Im exited to learn more about the KuroMisa

Crimson
08-18-2008, 01:52 AM
^Reallyyy?? thanks. :hug:

Im gonna start drawing it soon maybe...like a manga. though Im terribly bad at drawing. v.v

I was writing my other story like a manga today and it was totally fun!!! :lol:

xD.....It only takes some practice....I'm sure you'll be able to draw fine with uh....um....a few....weeks....months....years maybe of practice....depends how fast you learn ^^...and if your mom or dad were or are good....then you'll have some skill in your blood ^^...

Tsukiko
08-18-2008, 06:16 AM
Ah...I've been drawing things ever since I was a kid, but...really. I could never, never draw any good artwork that's in manga.

I am especially bad at drawing people...D:

Crimson
08-18-2008, 03:01 PM
Ah...I've been drawing things ever since I was a kid, but...really. I could never, never draw any good artwork that's in manga.

I am especially bad at drawing people...D:

lol...I can only draw people...I try anything else and it's an automatic failure....

GangstaKage
08-31-2008, 04:20 AM
Crimson-chan.Do you know when the next chapter is coming out.Im anxious to see whats going to happen.

Tsukiko
08-31-2008, 05:37 AM
^Lol.
Really?
:xd:
I thought my thread had died~:p

Anyhoo...maybe Ill post 7 soon.

Styles Clash
08-31-2008, 05:46 AM
I was wondering when you were going to post the next chapter too...:( the suspense is killing me Crimson Pie! xD I'm glad you're still gonna continue to post the story though, it's my fav. :)

Tsukiko
08-31-2008, 05:46 AM
Okay.
Maybe Ill post it tomorrow then...:^^:

GangstaKage
10-13-2008, 02:34 AM
Are you going to post anymore?

Tsukiko
10-13-2008, 07:29 AM
^Um...actually, no.
I honestly thought about it, but...

I've actually also thought about rewriting/editing the story a bit, but Im too lazy and I havent even finished the first draft of it yet. xD

Crimson
10-13-2008, 02:00 PM
Awww....I saw you posted here and thought you may have decided to continue it...T.T...I was wrong...

Tsukiko
10-13-2008, 06:04 PM
Lol.
Sorry. :xd:

I've been thinking it to post it, and then I dont, and then I do. n_n