Feelings

[Sai15]

I was bored yesterday and i wrote this song enjoy! ^^

I don’t know how to stop from hurting.
My eyes are so sore from crying.
Every time I think about us the tears well up again.
Nothing I do or say makes a difference.
Nothing I don’t do or say heals the silence.

And I need that someone to be you.

I need you to say I know you’re hurting.
I am hurting too.
I need you to ask how to make it better
How we can make it through.
But the longer the silence the deeper the pain
The sharper the words the more hurt remains.
Please, please listen to my heart
I can’t bear it. It’s tearing me apart.

[Katsumi]

Awwww, so sweet.
Is it that short?:p
It's very good anyways.:^^:

[skullz]

sai....i liked it *smiles*

[majinsharingan]

Just one suggestion...finish the song....
Even when I don't have a complete song I still go from beginning to end and leave holes in the middle.
You need to make it complete.

I liked the concept behind the final two lines of the verse. I didn't quite like how they were phrased but I liked where you were going with it.

Once again this sounds more like a poem than a song, and so far this the only one of your poems/songs that I've been able to find a rhythm and beat in, if only for a line or two.