if hero's will fall (a poem by me)

[The Sex Train]

surprised as you may be this song is about ITACHI'S "death" in the manga![he's a hero for me!]



if hero's will fall
what will remain?
will the world ever be
the same again?

if hero's will die
and no one will win
will someone be able
to regret their sin?

if bad, good or none
if right or wrong
if to be or not
you have to stay strong
because when you become weak
your power will leak

WATTYA GUYS THINK?

the thing bout me is.....im an exalent writer.....[heck maybe even as good as matt :D] but for some reason i only write thing like that once in a long time.....

[Black Star]

It's a great poem, you've made some mistakes, like for one, you didn't captilize words that should be. Some words are mispelled.

In line 4 you spelt 'agein' when it should be 'again'.
Line 7 you said 'somone' it should be 'someone'
Line 12 you spell it 'wen' it should be 'when'
And in line 13 you write 'leek'. Leek is a plant, the word you are look for is 'leak'.

Other than those mistakes I think it's a good poem. 9/10

[The Sex Train]

those are not mistakes...its internet talk :D
like when=wen
oh my god=omg.....ya know...

[HinataCuddle]

lol beside the fact that I'd apply that song to someone else, I'd say the poem's quite cool ^^

But remember that I'm a man of science, and I don't know much about criticizing art :)

[The Sex Train]

IM THE SAME
but i still am artistic.......UN!
who else would you dedeicade it?

[GangstaKage]

First of all.......No!Matt is the best writer there is or ever will be.Not even Kishi can stand up to Matt anymore.Maybe some of his earlier chapters could but not anymore.Though I was happy when this happened It was pathetic of Itachi dying of a heart attack.So dont try to compare yourself to Matt because no one I know of thats alive at this moment is better than him.Sure there are alot of good writers but In my opinion he is the best

2nd of all.................It was good.You could try adding a little more but poems are supposed to be good.Maybe you should try writing sumtheing a bit more...well more.Poems are cool but you might want to show of your ability in writing more.Idk maybe you could write a manga or a cool Fanfic

[The Sex Train]

woooo hold on thare! i never said i was better then matt! i just said that if i rly put my back into it i can be as good as him
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writing a manga will be cool but CHI has its on forum...if ill write my manga here it will all be un orginised and you wouldent be able to find the chapters....

[Black Star]

So why don't you ask for your own forum to put your chapters in?

[GangstaKage]

im writing my own.If you get enough chapters that it annoys ppl to death then you will get your own sub-forum.And If they want to read your manga then they just have to use the search thing to search for it but your good :)
And I think you should write a manga
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Thats what I said not even Kishi is as good as Matt.......anymore atleast.ANd I dont think your quite ready to be compared to Kishi but yea your good

[majinsharingan]

The first four lines I really liked although the rhymes were kind of weak.

Don't take it personally, It was good, but when it comes to songs lyrics are very important.

[majinsharingan]

writing a manga will be cool but CHI has its on forum...if ill write my manga here it will all be un orginised and you wouldent be able to find the chapters....

The reason it has it's own forum is because of two reasons.
One, it was progressing quickly and had over 50 chapters and was hard for people to start reading from the beginning because they couldn't find the first chapter.

Second of all Me and Venus got into an argument that carried on and eventually Ham intervened.

So basically the moral of this story is write a lot and piss Venus off :D

[The Sex Train]

lol....and ya i had to go somwere so i dident have time to really work on it.....i just set on my bad with my laptop and started tyng some random stuff lol
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+i suck at intro's/beggining's......once i get that part right my manga can be hella good but first i need to find a good plot...
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+i know your not guna belive it but i havent even red chi yet.....

[GangstaKage]

Well if you didnt read Chi then I can uderstand why you said you could be as good as Matt currently
lol
Im sure your manga will be great....better than mine anyway

[caseclosedchild(narurakue]

do u have to have alot ofpost to make ur own fourum formagna?