What NOT to say AS a doctor

[Raving Shadow]

Basicly just post things not to say if you were a doctor

E.G To patient: "Looks like you've been a woman all along!" ^_^

Have fun.

[Thomas60]

lets have a look at your mri... OH MY GOD!!!!!
...
there's no sugar in my tea.

[PuffDaMagicDragon]

lets see oh my god your gonna die if you dont listen to this song

[Raving Shadow]

Here are a few more:
To patient: "Your spleen is swelling. I'm afraid you have three minutes to live."

"I hope your attitude is as positive as these test results."

-looks through files-
Doctor-Hmmm we have you..you have cancer.
someone-WHAT!?
Doctor-your a cancer right?

[Ido]

Lets see now, let me look at your status mam, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patient: *Screams*
Docter: AGHHHH! A SPIDER!

AGHH!!!!!!!!

Patient: OH MY GOD WHAT!?

Docter: My son got a D in his history test.

[VedastoHat]

"Wow You Survived That heart attack! Here have some McDonalds!"

[Zidane]

at a surgery...


"Hmmm... where does this go again?"

[VedastoHat]

"Ok guys, weve stiched his chest up, now all thats left is to put the organ back in."

"...Stiched?
"...Stiched?
"...Stiched?

"...Does anyone here have a sharp carving knife?"

[Zidane]

Still surgery ^^

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

[VedastoHat]

"The Bad news, your going to die, but on the bright side, i jst saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico!"

[Zidane]

Ah, who cares... We've got an excellent lawyer anyway.

[VedastoHat]

"IM sorry mam, but your son was nibbled to death by ducks."

[Zidane]

Hey, 50 bucks says Miller dies before Smith.

[VedastoHat]

"Congragulations! Its A...Its A...er...what is it?"

[A R I S S A R I E S]

"f*** Me Up!" O.o Lol

[Zidane]

...Im not quite sure. Yank it and see what happens.

[VedastoHat]

"Oops."

[Zidane]

the good news,you have 1 more day to live!!!




the bad news... I shoulda told you yesterday...

[VedastoHat]

lol.

"WOULD SOMEBODY TURN OFF THAT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SOUND(you can guess) WERE TRYING TO WORK ON A PAITENT!"

[Zidane]

Damnit, nurse! That's a propane tank, not an oxygen tank!

[VedastoHat]

Hmm, i wonder what happens when i press this "Turn Off Oxygen" Button...

[Zidane]

Nurse, sledgehammer please

[Naruto's Dirty Diaper's]

well im sorry missy but u have STD'S but the good thing is u have
enough stamina to fuck me !!
so that makes it equal
im happy and your happy ^____^

[Naruto's Dirty Diaper's]

Nurse .....dildo please...... lmao

[Zidane]

beep...beep...beeeeeeeep

[VedastoHat]

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep sound is playing:

"Oh! This is my song!" *starts dancing*

[Zidane]

^:lmao: ><

Ewww... that's a lot of blood...

[Naruto's Dirty Diaper's]

Who wantz some hot cross buns???

[Naruto's Dirty Diaper's]

The neck bone connected to the spine bone ..the spine bone connected to the ass bone ..the ass bone connected to the u dont want to no bone .......the u dont want to no bone connected to the im bone-ing u bone
Nurse can i have the SEX ray please ....

[VedastoHat]

Ah! This Womands Dieing! Somebody Call A Doctor!!!

[Zidane]

"Is this guy supposed to have 2 lungs?"

[VedastoHat]

Ok Sir, you can go home, and remember, if you suddenly cant breathe, scream for help.

[Zidane]

^Lol

I treated a horse...I mean...patient ...with your condition just last week.

[VedastoHat]

Ok sir, before you go we need to make sure you know the number for 911.

[Zidane]

Whoopsies, I shouldn't have unplugged that!

[VedastoHat]

im sorry sir but would you shut your mouth! Were trying to help you breath!

[uchiha123123]

there is no reason you shouldnt live for 40 or 50 years but both of your eyes will bleed the rest of your life

[Zidane]

It's a good day to die...

[VedastoHat]

I cant work on this paitent! Im to busy playing the "What NOT to say AS a doctor" Game on Talknaruto!

[Zidane]

^:lmao:

What's his name again?!? Oh... I hope he hates babies...

[VedastoHat]

I dont care if this paitent is pregnant! My moms on the phone and shes having a baby!

[Zidane]

^:xd:

You know this... come on think back on your three day of med school...

[VedastoHat]

you Have cancer?! Awesome my mom has the same astronomical sign!

[Naruto's Dirty Diaper's]

Get your ass up for the doctor
One more time, get your ass up for the doctor
Come on now, here we go
Cliff hanger, it's another club banger
Got you hangin' on the edge of your seat
Get on down

[Shikamaru_ShadowNara]

You have a tumor in your brain and you will die in 1 hour

[Chocolate]

Doc: Well, bring in the Lady that's pregnant and--
-pregnant lady walks in-
Doc: Oh my F***ing GOD!!!! THAT THING IS HUUUUUGE!!!!!

O.O
lol.
another one:
Doc: Now let's take a look at your son's leg--OMG!!!
Father of Patient: WHAT?!! Is it serious doc!!?!!
Doc: Yes...(tries to show a little more drama) i-it's...Terrible, my patient.
Father: What is it?! Can you fix it doctor!!?!!
Doc: I'm afraid I can't...:sad:
Father: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON!!!?!
Doc: Oh! Nothing really! I just found that I got a D on my History Exam.
Father: :blink: -twiches-

[uchiha123123]

lmao

[Mattus]

(during a physical)
Hm...Nice pubes.

(during an operation)
Tonight I'll be operating as, John Wayne...Hand-me-tha-scalpel!

(talking to patient)
Well Mr Johnson you should be out of here in a few days...No I'm just kiddin you're gonna die.

[Chocolate]

(during a physical)
Hm...Nice pubes.

(during an operation)
Tonight I'll be operating as, John Wayne...Hand-me-tha-scalpel!

(talking to patient)
Well Mr Johnson you should be out of here in a few days...No I'm just kiddin you're gonna die.

LOL!
Poor Mr Johnson. xDDD

[Mattus]

(after giving someone an anesthesia mask)
Hey buddy, can I have a hit?

[jooter]

Hi! I'm your doctor... can I interest you in some funeral plans? ^^